Ok so ever since I can remember, I've never really had the usual spring break. Either I was too young to do anything fun (that I can remember) or when I did get old enough, in other words, high school, I was working or doing homework or something... Either way, it kind of sucks. Day 1 of my spring break, I went to the gym with my coworkers for 3 1/2 hours, then went out to eat all you can eat pancakes after.. Of course I'm working so there was no way I could do anything like go to cancun or hit up Vegas or the typical. And to top it off, I get sick. Either way, things have been changing a lot and change is translating into stress. I see myself losing hours dedicated for myself. I do consider my workouts my time, but its not the same as just being able to reflect and relax and not worry about anything. So anyway, I decided that I'm going to my usual getaway, Tahoe. This trip was only with a couple friends, but it was a huge success and a lot of fun. I came with no expectations, and what I got was the unexpected. We arrived late to check into a room that only cost $38 (and it wasn't that jankie) where the key was just sitting in the mailbox. Either way, the place was a steal! Unexpected. Then we headed to Harveys so I can get my gambling fix and we all ended up winning! Unexpected. The next morning we wake up and go ride on the fresh snow pack. Sierra was pretty crowded and based on the weather (and the fact that it's freakin April), I decided not to wear my jacket because it always heats up during the day and I get too hot. Well it started to snow and I froze my ass off. Unexpected. Either way this trip was successful in that the things I usually suspect were absent by the unexpected. Good thing I had no expectations.
Lost yet? Moving on.
I do believe that busy can be a good thing, but the responsibilites can make being busy stressful. I am a basketball coach for 7th grade boys. I live and breathe basketball and consider myself knowledgeable and skilled. But at this grade, I know I'm not only a coach but a role model. I knew this responsibility when I took the job, but the politics behind it is starting to give me regrets. Sure my friends tell me that what I'm doing is a great thing, and I agree, everyone should try to reach out to the youth, but the politics behind this stuff is rediculous. All of this he said she said, talking behind people's backs, rumors and dishonesty is what is disheartening and its discouraging me to want to continue doing this great thing for the kids. That's right. I'm a coach, no I'm a person, who believes that at this age especially, club sports should be all about the kids, their growth as young adults and to teach them to respect and contribute to their community. But it's the parents, the other coaches and organizations that overshadow this once preached "mission statement"(back when I played) that now makes participating in this such a terrible thing for me. Do we want to encourage our kids that deceiving and winning is all that matters? I'm sorry, but I DON'T. Sure winning is great, but its not everything. Sometimes the best lesson is not how to win, but how to endure defeat. Take on the unexpected.. I will not be pushed over nor will I change who I am and the values branded in me. Because I won't confide, this is the type of shit that will most likely remove me; a moral, ethical, respectful 25 y/o from providing a service to my community youth (at least in the form or organized sports). I expected the "politics" to get involved. Parents want their kids to play cause of course they each think their kid is the best. I don't blame them, but you have to let them learn. No more spoon feeding them that they're the best because frankly, they won't put in the work. They won't ever stride to become better. They're lazy. The hardest part was the begining where my assistant coach and I had in instill basic fundamental basketball skills to these kids; skills that I was taught in church basketball and by my Dad all through out elementary school. These kids already think they're the best. I'm fine with that, but there's always room for improvement. It was just so unexpected.
So here I am now. I had a great time with some friends on my spring break to only realize that from April 17th- June 6th, I will have all but one weekend booked up dedicated to my kids. Unexpected. Overwhelming. Stressful. There is so much change going around right now. I even see myself changing a bit. Change is new and its hard for me. I think I'm going to learn a lot about myself through these next few months and after, but when will I have time for me...? Something's gonna give, yet everything is equally as important to me, so what now? Instead of having expectations, I have no idea what to expected... All I know is that I hope I'm hungry cause I sure have a lot on my plate to chew...
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4 comments:
It sounds like you had a pretty good spring break =) I think the kids are lucky to have you as their coach. Through you Mike, I believe the kids will learn true basketball skills and at the same time, they will learn true life morals and become better people. Life is filled with things that we just have to handle as they come our way. Sometimes, it's when you have no expectations that you get pleasant surprises in life. As you get through everything that is coming your way, I think you will definitely learn how to handle everything, balance your time, release stress, and eventually make time for yourself too.
I agree with G in that it should be super important for you to make sure you schedule some time for yourself. I wouldn't say that you've bitten off more than you can chew, but instead take this as a sign that maybe you are just ready for something different, changes. It's hard to see that sometimes, especially when you've done something and have committed yourself for so long.
I know all about the not having a "real" spring break feeling. Whether it was time or money, I don't feel like anything big I've planned for myself has ever worked out. Sure, I've done things, gone places, but I've never really gone for myself. I'm trying to change things starting this summer. I think you should prepare yourself mentally for these next few months (hopefully the politics don't get to you too much), but don't be afraid to sit back in the end and consider what you will do next. Sometimes, regardless of your [good] intentions, the best thing to do is to take a step back. Doesn't mean you won't be back, doesn't mean you're being selfish, just might even give you the opportunity to contribute in new/other ways. That's how I justified quitting the volunteering I did for the hospital here. I coulda stayed, but frankly I was too tired physically and of all the people around me who were there to rack up more hours than the person next to them. Whatever happened to doing this because it felt nice to help the person who was not here by choice? Not everyone thinks the same way, and sometimes all we can do is move on.
I hope you take those busy weekends as opportunities to figure out what you want to do, most importantly for yourself! And I really enjoy your clever metaphors. Oh! And I see that I wasn't wrong for assuming you were a good coach. These kids, especially at their age need someone with ethics, good morals to lead the way. They may not realize it now, but someday I'm sure they'll look back and say, "that Mike, yeah he was good coach..better yet, he was a good guy." =D
Thanks guys. Yeah well I hope things turn out for the best. I had to sacrifice some clinical hours because of work and school, but I figure I think I'm gonna do volunteering this summer so that should be good.
Basketball will always be a passion for me. My team meeting is tomorrow and I'll prolly have a post after it (I'll need a drink Karen =P). Thanks again for the positive feedback G and Karen!
I hope that you made the most of your last weekend "free" for a while! =D I realized this weekend that the only thing that could really bring be back to Sac (but only for a little while) is great friends and family. As nice and peaceful as it is here, there is just sooo much more to do there that I've never really experienced as a teenager. It's an even better time for me to take advantage of it all now while I still look young.. haha.
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