Told you I'd be busy

It's almost been a month and I couldn't even find the time to write in this thing? Well I am now and don't be suprised if you don't hear from me until June.

So I've been busy. A lot of changes have been going on with me, in a positive way. I feel like these past few weeks of chaos have instilled a newfound sense of self-confidence. I was thrown into situations I wasn't ready for and feel like I handled them with courage and maturity. What I'm talking about specifically is my boy's first bball tournament, which we should have done better in. I was disappointed, but so were they so I think we're gonna come out in LA with a bit more sense of urgency. Like the playoffs, "win or go home!" Then I did my ride along on with the local fire department in which I saw nothing! We had two calls that were both cancelled. I guess that's a good thing in a medical sense right? Then I did my ER graveyard shift which was totally interesting because I've never done a graveyard shift, let alone, in the ER. It was definitely an experience, and one I will never forget. So with those hurdles accomplished, I feel like I've got my swagger back. Hell I even went shopping this weekend (being that it is my last free weekend) and went with a friend who is trying to help me upgrade or refresh my wardrobe. Whatevers, it was fun! =P. Just need a few more things, but I bet this is gonna turn into an obsession. O well, I could use a little confidence boost... Oh along with confidence boost...

We're heading into week 4 of my work's Biggest Loser competition. I know I'm not gonna win, but competitions always make me work hard. Aside from the big goal of Vegas in August, this competition is over first week of June. I've already lost 7lbs and I don't plan on losing any more. I want to sustain my "bulk", but I want to get a six pack. So far so good. Got a lot of sun (a bit burnt) so I can bring out some of my lines, but its not over yet. One more month, I'm gonna kick it into overdrive and get super cut! I'll post a before and after once the competition is over with. Well that's a quick update with me, nothing really on my head to discuss, just wanted to show my avid followers that I'm still here! Until next time....

Bitten off more than I can chew? Unexpected...

Ok so ever since I can remember, I've never really had the usual spring break. Either I was too young to do anything fun (that I can remember) or when I did get old enough, in other words, high school, I was working or doing homework or something... Either way, it kind of sucks. Day 1 of my spring break, I went to the gym with my coworkers for 3 1/2 hours, then went out to eat all you can eat pancakes after.. Of course I'm working so there was no way I could do anything like go to cancun or hit up Vegas or the typical. And to top it off, I get sick. Either way, things have been changing a lot and change is translating into stress. I see myself losing hours dedicated for myself. I do consider my workouts my time, but its not the same as just being able to reflect and relax and not worry about anything. So anyway, I decided that I'm going to my usual getaway, Tahoe. This trip was only with a couple friends, but it was a huge success and a lot of fun. I came with no expectations, and what I got was the unexpected. We arrived late to check into a room that only cost $38 (and it wasn't that jankie) where the key was just sitting in the mailbox. Either way, the place was a steal! Unexpected. Then we headed to Harveys so I can get my gambling fix and we all ended up winning! Unexpected. The next morning we wake up and go ride on the fresh snow pack. Sierra was pretty crowded and based on the weather (and the fact that it's freakin April), I decided not to wear my jacket because it always heats up during the day and I get too hot. Well it started to snow and I froze my ass off. Unexpected. Either way this trip was successful in that the things I usually suspect were absent by the unexpected. Good thing I had no expectations.



Lost yet? Moving on.



I do believe that busy can be a good thing, but the responsibilites can make being busy stressful. I am a basketball coach for 7th grade boys. I live and breathe basketball and consider myself knowledgeable and skilled. But at this grade, I know I'm not only a coach but a role model. I knew this responsibility when I took the job, but the politics behind it is starting to give me regrets. Sure my friends tell me that what I'm doing is a great thing, and I agree, everyone should try to reach out to the youth, but the politics behind this stuff is rediculous. All of this he said she said, talking behind people's backs, rumors and dishonesty is what is disheartening and its discouraging me to want to continue doing this great thing for the kids. That's right. I'm a coach, no I'm a person, who believes that at this age especially, club sports should be all about the kids, their growth as young adults and to teach them to respect and contribute to their community. But it's the parents, the other coaches and organizations that overshadow this once preached "mission statement"(back when I played) that now makes participating in this such a terrible thing for me. Do we want to encourage our kids that deceiving and winning is all that matters? I'm sorry, but I DON'T. Sure winning is great, but its not everything. Sometimes the best lesson is not how to win, but how to endure defeat. Take on the unexpected.. I will not be pushed over nor will I change who I am and the values branded in me. Because I won't confide, this is the type of shit that will most likely remove me; a moral, ethical, respectful 25 y/o from providing a service to my community youth (at least in the form or organized sports). I expected the "politics" to get involved. Parents want their kids to play cause of course they each think their kid is the best. I don't blame them, but you have to let them learn. No more spoon feeding them that they're the best because frankly, they won't put in the work. They won't ever stride to become better. They're lazy. The hardest part was the begining where my assistant coach and I had in instill basic fundamental basketball skills to these kids; skills that I was taught in church basketball and by my Dad all through out elementary school. These kids already think they're the best. I'm fine with that, but there's always room for improvement. It was just so unexpected.



So here I am now. I had a great time with some friends on my spring break to only realize that from April 17th- June 6th, I will have all but one weekend booked up dedicated to my kids. Unexpected. Overwhelming. Stressful. There is so much change going around right now. I even see myself changing a bit. Change is new and its hard for me. I think I'm going to learn a lot about myself through these next few months and after, but when will I have time for me...? Something's gonna give, yet everything is equally as important to me, so what now? Instead of having expectations, I have no idea what to expected... All I know is that I hope I'm hungry cause I sure have a lot on my plate to chew...