R&B

I think I have mentioned that I am an R&Bist. Its funny cause you can really tell the type of person, not by the music they listen to, but the music that speaks to them; music that seems to always connect to them. For me it's R&B and always has. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy listening to most types of music, but I am a hardcore R&B listener. I used to be embarrassed growing up listening to slow jams and smooth rock, but most are now regarded as "the classics". And now I could care less, in fact, I'll bump R&B with my windows down if I'm totally feeling it. Its something about the lyrics. Sure they're usually sobby, or sexual, or about love, but its not just about that. There are of course certain lines that make me go like "whoa", and I can name a few just off the top of my head:

"you're a positive, motivating force within my life"- Aaliyah (At your best)

"whenever I fall there you are, I know that my pain you feel in your heart, and when the life that I live seems so hard, there you are" -Sam Salter (There you are)

"...and every other day I get up and you're not beside me, I know that reality is the bad dream"- Sterling Simms (Bad Dream)

I can just respect some of the writing. I think what I connect to the most is that the music, not just the lyrics, but the music (tone, melodies, harmonies) are all made to express a feeling. A good R&B song you can feel the soul in it and that's where I think I connect to it the most. It's just honesty on paper. Stuff today is just pop flops. Whatever sounds good, trends, blah blah. No more meaning. No more heart. No more soul. I write music. I haven't in awhile because I've been so busy, but I'm currently listening to some of our stuff (DemoSoul= my friend and I) and it honestly don't care if it sounds good because it was written from my soul; what I believe is true R&B.

In case anyone was wondering, my friend and I chose the name DemoSoul because his name is Danny and I'm Mike so it was "De" and "Mo"= Demo. Though no one ever calls me Mo, the word "demo" kinda defined what we gave out; little snipplets of music here and there, nothing every really finished. Then I realized that I can't sing (unlike most the people auditioning for American Idol), but I felt like Danny could portray my lyrics with the feeling, the soul I wanted. And I figure since I write with the pen on my heart, why not tell everyone what we do with who we are, DemoSoul. Take a snipplet of my soul. Feel free to check out some of our stuff. I've mostly become the soul writer while Danny is the sole singer. Like that play on words ;)? Anyways I want to get back to this stuff... in due time.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=941456

I'll leave you all with on of my all-time favorite "classic" soft rock songs...
Had to have been one of the best lyrics ever, easily top 10 for me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZGoWtY_h4xo

Brian Adams- Do it for you (Everything I do)








How could this not make getting off work a bit more beautiful?

A Hybrid

So here's to another random ass post about random stuff. It's 2:25 am, but its still 1:25 for me so I'm up. I'm getting my studying in, feeling a bit more confident about my test. I think that after tomorrows studying I'll be good. Now that my reassurance is out of the way, I'd like to share with you all my fun filled day...

Did I ever mention that I love to snowboard? I'm not saying I'm good or anything, but I fell in love with the freedom it gives me. If I were to compare my experiences to a typical activity, I'd compare it to running. I hate running, but respect the people that do it because they always tell me the same things. "Running helps me relax, helps me think, helps me get away, etc." That's what snowboarding does for me. I could care less about showing off and looking cool (though snow gear is soo steez). Snowboarding is my getaway. I grew up in a warm climate, no snow whatsoever, so the mere fact that I go to a snow environment is like a getaway in itself. Once I'm there, I'm free. I do enjoy riding with friends and laughing and goofing off, but every time I go up there is always a moment where there is a run practically by myself where I can take it all in. The calmness of nature, the freedom of the ride, the soothing R&B I'm bumpin' in my headphones. This year I've found myself to be riding a bit faster, a bit harder, only because the feeling I get. That being on the edge of out-of-control is when everything for me seems to become simple. When I'm flying down the hill(no lie, I'm going realllllly fast), all my petty worries, my insecurities, my so called problems, don't mean so much anymore. I guess the funny part about it is that I'm probably more concerned or maybe concentrated on staying in control. But either way, its a way of forcing myself to leave the elaborate world of worries, and escape to a primitive land of unbiased, unprejudiced, uncontrolled freedom. Then I get to interact with random people on the lift rides up; all sharing the commonality of having fun. Wow, what a concept, sharing. Most people are just sharing the experience and letting curiosity about each other's experiences trigger conversations. So simple. When I ride, everything just becomes simple. Sadly winter only comes once a year so I'm trying to embrace the few weeks of freedom I have left out of the season. Now I have to find something in the summer that gives me this feeling...

Days like these make me take a deeper look into myself. I spend so much of my time thinking about others and typically leave me to the end. When I ride, its all about me and the mountain, but in such an unselfish way its hard to describe. I'm not rude, cocky, or disrespectful. I even find myself stopping to check on people when they fall without a thought. Its like a reminder that I can't change who I am, no matter what I'm doing. I am and always will be a person who looks out for others. It's imprinted in me and I'm fine with that. But I like my independence. I like relying on me and only me, that way I can only let myself down. Is that hypocritcal? I want to look out for others, but don't want others to look out for me? I must be a hybrid of an oxymoron; a lone, people person; a dependable independent; an electric gas guzzler? Haha. That brings me to my next pic. Check this out. Did they even produce a hybrid hummer? Poser? Wait, if I consider myself a hybrid, does that make me a poser? hmm...

I'll leave you all with a quote my friend told me today that brought out the geek in her and I.

"Happy 'pie' day. Its March 14th, 3.14, so get celebrate and eat some 'pi'!"

Stuck between a rock and a hard place...

So here I go again. I knew it was gonna start to get crazy and it is. Back on the grind. I'm in the mist of taking a crucial test next week to determine if I'm going to be continuing my venture into the exciting world of EMS. What concerns me is that I'm not really stressing over it. Like I want to do well and pass it, but if I don't I feel like I don't care; like I'm taking it as a sign. I'm in control of this fate though if I study hard enough. I hope I do well, if not... o well. Then my basketball team has begun practicing again and this kids are terribly out of condition. Granted they're only like 12, and I am a bit hard on them, but I'm just reflecting what I got growing up except taking the good, competitiveness and mixing it with my personality, meanwhile subtracting the negativity I received. All in all, I'm excited that basketball is back, but man oh man do I sometimes wish I was just an assistant or a helper. The responsibility is a lot, not to just coach, but to be a good role model. More pressure that's all. Then there's just drama at home. A lot of things going on. My mom wants to get a puppy which is exciting so I'm really looking forward to that. But there's just tension in the house for the past few days and its days like these where I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I can't take sides, I can't really make any points because honestly, I have no grounds to make any points. I have no money, no full time job, no benefits, I live at home, want to contribute to my family but I have nothing to contribute, and here I am thinking I need to do something with my life like NOW. Its funny how we can look in the past and compare them to how things are. I remember when I first moved out at UC Davis I was so excited, then soon realized all the things my parents did that they weren't around to do for me. I had to grow up. I used to think things were so hard back then, but reflecting on it, life was simple. I had purpose; I had reasons to do things; I had a path, a plan, a goal. I feel like I'm losing sight of mine right now. I really want to help my parents out. I can never tell what is really going on because they never tell me straight up, as if I was still their "baby". I'm gonna be 25, I keep telling them, and I want to help them. I want to quit my job and get something that will support them. Something that will cut off a bit more of their financial burden. I will look I guess, but I gotta make sure I don't skew to far from the big picture. I'm stuck.

On a whole new level, this blog, facebook, social media has gotten me in trouble yet again. I want to reiterate to my readers that this is a blog for me to get shit off my mind. It is not my intention to get a rise out of any particular people or a channel for me to gloat. I try and make some posts interesting but again I'm not trying to entertain anyone but myself. I feel that if readers can relate to me, even just a little bit, and provide any insight or positive feedback, the world would just seem a lot less intimidating and a lot more friendly to me.

Anyway, I'm stuck again thinking of another crucial decision which no one can help me with but me. I have a lot of figuring out to do. I've really matured from the me even just last year. Am I ready to settle down? Or am I just 25, I still gotta play. This place is hard and I'm stuck... damn these rocks...